Seattle, WA: The Lesbian Mother's National Defense Fund, the 1970's through the 1990's

'“Raising our Children is a Right, Not a Heterosexual Privilege”'

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Motto of the Lesbian Mother’s National Defense Fund

The Lesbian Mothers National Defense Fund (LMNDF) was started by a group of young lesbians in Seattle WA in 1974. Starting with a small group of women and an even smaller amount of money, the LMNDF held fund raisers, raised awareness, collected resources and supported lesbians across the United States that were fighting for custody of their children after leaving heterosexual marriages.

The Lesbian Mother's National Defense Fund (LMNDF)

The LMNDF was featured in the 2006 documentary film, Mom's Apple Pie: The Heart of the Lesbian Mothers National Defense Fund. The following information is quoted from this film.

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"The Lesbian Mother's National Defense Fund was an organization formed to support women who were going through divorce and custody cases so that they could retain custody, or at least visitation, with their children." Lois Thetford.

“There wasn’t a single case in the United States in 1972 in which a lesbian mother had won, not only won custody that hadn’t happened, but even won normal visitation rights.” Barbara ‘Boo’ Price

“The overwhelming legal standard is always best interest of the child so that leaves a lot of discretion to the court judge.” Jean Rietchel

One of the impacted children, Melissa Hart, spoke about her experience in the film: "I think divorce is devastating to young children in general, but to be taken away from an absolutely wonderful mother, I mean this was our girl scout leader . . . to be taken away from her because she was sleeping with a woman and dropped into our father's extremely abusive and volatile household, it was devastating.

Unfit Mothers: Lesbian Mothers Fight for Custody

One of the "most famous" cases of lesbian custody was fought by two Seattle women, Sandy and Madeliene in the early 1970's. This was officially called the Shuster-Issacson case, which was the consolidation of two custody cases in which the fathers and former husbands of the lesbian couple sued Sandy Shuster and Madeliene Isaacson for custody of their children.

According to the Hastings Law Journal, during the original contested divorces-- in which their lesbianism was discussed--the women were awarded custody of their children contingent upon the physical separation of the two women and their children.; in other words, they could keep their kids but not live together as a family. In response, Sandy and Madeleine found separate homes across the hall from each other. The two fathers subsequently contested custody, arguing that since they had remarried they could provide adequate homes, that the two women were in fact living together against court orders and that they had publicized their relationship.

In support of the lesbian mothers' case, a film was made called Sandy and Madeliene's Family, which featured supportive testimony from Margaret Mead. In addition, many expert witnesses testified on their behalf. "After a lengthy trial in which twenty-one witnesses were introduced, including eleven psychiatrists and psychologists, the court found that the change in circumstances was not sufficient to require a change in custody from the mothers to the fathers. The court noted that 'almost all of the testimony of all the people who actually saw, examined, or talked to the children was that the children are healthy, happy, normal, loving children.'".

Around the same time period, Marilyn Koop was also in Seattle and fighting for custody of her children around the same time period. Her children were at one point placed in a juvenile detention center when they refused to live with their father by a judge who thought this a better alternative than returning them to their mother’s “abnormal” and “highly detrimental” living arrangements (as a lesbian couple).

Mom's Apple Pie: The Newsletter of the LMNDF

For over two decades, the Lesbian Mother's National Defense Fund (LMNDF) produced and distributed a newsletter titled "Mom's Apple Pie." The newsletter included letters and pleas from women needing financial support for their current custody battles, drawings, reflections and poetry from lesbian mothers, news updates on relevant court cases and legal changes across the nation, and much more. Information in "Mom's Apple Pie" included all avenues of lesbian mothering including adoption, artificial insemination and children born in heterosexual marriages to mothers who later came out as lesbians. Following are scanned excerpts from the original newsletters, obtained from library archives.

This essay, published in the Winter 1990 newsletter, was written by a woman struggling to keep custody of her children while openly identifying as a lesbian.