John William Sterling Journal: January-June 1863

Continued from:

John William Sterling Journal: July-December 1862

January 1863

Although quite a time has elapsed since my last entry, yet the things that have transpired are not of the least weighty consequence: Two weeks ago, Wednesday morning (i.e. the 24th of December), Father was taken sick with a stroke of paralysis affecting his right foot, leg, arm, side.

Jan 12th – When I made my last entry, I felt little like writing, and put down so more as a duty than a pleasure. This morning (Monday), we had a recitation in Chap’s apartment so I am now writing.

Well Father, as his custom has, always had arose about 6 o’clock to open the door so as to have the fire in the dining room remade. He had proceeded as far as the bedroom door when he felt his whole right leg to go numb. Thereby, unable to walk well, he told Mother that his leg was asleep and she volunteered to open the door. He returned to the bed of himself. For an hour or two before this, he had felt his leg growing sleepy, as it were. In another hour, Mother was up and as this feeling of numbness was growing upon him, he let Mother send for the Doctor. I had just come downstairs and in a moment the horse was on the wagon. William ran in to help Mother, if necessary ,and I was on the road to Bridgeport. Doctor Norton had not as yet risen ,and without allowing him to take anything more than a cup of coffee, hurried him off into the wagon and in less than an hour, I was back home again. The Doctor wanted to come up in his own establishment, but knowing it would take him longer, I persuaded him to come in mine, for which part, I gladly brought him back to Bridgeport. He said, at the first place, that an affliction of the spine was what ailed Father, denying that it could be paralysis. He took medicine from the Doctor \, but grew worse all day; this same feeling extending to his thigh, side, arm, fingers on right arm, and chords of his neck, besides one half of his head and the tongue slightly, all on the right. In the afternoon, Dr. came again and gave him medicine, but he grew no better.

The next morning, he was about the same as late the night before. We brought him into the dining room, and made a bed up for him near the bedroom door, under the map of Stratford. In the afternoon of this day (the second), Doctor pronounced it a case of paralysis, and wanted a consultation with Dr. Stiff of New Haven. Dr. Stiff was sent for, but did not come, and after two letters and 3 telegrams, he came Saturday night. (I believe, though I am not sure,) and gave him some new medicine.

Father’s leg had commenced slightly to improve through, hardly perceptibly, Dr. Norton’s Battery Galvanic) [which] we used night and morning, and William and I rubbed our arms and fingers nearly off. Father groaned and groaned, and seemed willing to die, if he had only done one thing, the making of his will. Mother and I, and he composed it, and in the evening of -. Claudius {C…], Mrs and Mrs Mitchell witnessed it and Claudius proved it.

I believe Father was only confined to his bed for one day. Everyone got him into the rocking chair and placed him by the fire. William and I would rub him hour by hour, by day, and in the same way by night. We had two beds in the dining room, besides, and slept with our clothes on, getting up every little while and turning him over, or to rub him or administer him his medicine.

I was with him nearly all day and he took all the care off from Mother who, notwithstanding, was violently sick one day with nervous headache. About 5 days after he was taken, I would go to Bridgeport every day and do business for him in the Bank, or go over to Aunt Cornelia’s and let her know how he was. Aunt Cornelia was very attentive and came over quite often. Pa insisted upon paying her passage back. Uncle Sherwood ca me over three or four times, but he is now sick at home with a severe cold.

The Bridgeport City Bank is a very finely arranged and convenient building: it is certainly the finest in that respect, of any in Bridgeport. We did not eat in the dining room at first, but after 3 days, I believe we took our meals there. Father has eaten but very little while he has been very sick; this is his custom during when he is sick. Narration to him, at such a time, appears to him to be the best medicine.

January 3rd - Clint’s sub. is trying to get a question for dispute. For this reason, I am afraid I shall not get all the particulars of Father’s sickness. I have never seen a person more cheerful in sickness of such weight and severity.

On the whole, I have spent a nice and pleasant vacation: of course, it was not very lively, but I would not have missed the opportunity of being at home for anything. It seems a great comfort to Mother, and Father says it was everything for him. I transacted a great deal of business for him in Bridgeport, collected a number of dividends, and deposited a great amount of money.

I meant to have stated what Father lived on: First, nothing; secondly beef tea; finally, rye crackers, or toast, and small pieces of beef steak. I was very particular not to give him any large quantities of anything, and created quite a laugh from him every time. I was especially frugal in giving butter, which he wanted more than anything else. But the Doctor’s forbade him eating pork of any description; this, of course, will be quite a deprivation when he gets well. Deo Volante.

Jan 10th – This morning while I was on a walk, I saw a notice on the bulletin opposite the depot saying that Major Gen. Butler was going through on the cars. I stopped and had the opportunity of seeing him. There was a tremendous crowd there. He made no speech but simply shook hands all around. I did not care enough for it to be squeezed in such a really filthy crowd.

Jan 27th Today it reached me that I had voted the [??] ticket on election for [Cach??]’s last term. Dane came around in the morning wit a very long face, asking me if I really had voted such a ticket. Not believing it himself. Well he said it with such a long face and so solemnly, that I hardly knew what to say. It did not take me long, however, to right any such statement.

I had commenced studying again when E.M. came around with a much longer face, asking me to step out a moment (for my chum was in), and then he wished me to go to his room. I accordingly did, and there found Booth,and Lyman with solemn faces. Especially the former, imagine he was rather glad to have the prospect of bringing me up.

Lyman told me what he had heard, and advised me to appoint a committee to investigate the matter. I told him I could not consent at once to such a thing, for the idea of having a committee appointed over the head of a decent man was too overcoming and too debasing to decide upon at once, and although I felt if ever man knows his own deeds, that I would never do such an ignominious thing as bolt from my own Society, and especially, oppose a candidate who I liked (Pierson). Yet, if it were necessary, I of course should not shrink from such a course.

As I look back upon it now, that which I most revolt at is that E.M. Williams wanted to investigate the matter without letting me know anything about it.  I shall not get over this in some time, and shall at a proper time, ask an explanation of it.  

Well this was Tuesday. This very afternoon, I saw Billie Pratt and I asked him if he had supposed I had voted for him, and he replied “no”. This evening, I, of course, brought the matter before the Society and asked for the appointment of a committee, but ΆΔΦ not listening to such a thing, I resolved to investigate the matter myself. I have seen Wurts, who told E.M. William of it first, and made it all right with him. Wurts said, at the time of the election, the statement had been made in the presence of my chum, and had not been contradicted by him. I of course asked Clint. He says that he did deny it, but the fellows kept continually saying so, and as he had no evidence direct that I had not done so, and as it was rather an embarrassing position for him to speak of such a thing to me, and especially, as it would be for me if I had done such a thing, he took no further step about it.

I have seen Buck and Atterbury, and I guess such a scandalous thing will be stopped now. I suppose it originated from my taking a printed Coalition ticket for my memorabilia gallery. Not finding our written ticket in my pocket, I scratched out the improper names and put it in. Well misfortunes happen to the best of men. I felt pretty blue when I first heard of it.

January 30th – Initiation into the Society of the Cochelaureate, this evening at the New Haven Hotel. We all went up to Chamberlain’s room at 9 p.m., and there met the “63 Cochs, with the exception of Johnston and Booth, who were sick. I believe we reached our room at 1:30 a.m. The initiation itself, did not amount to much, we had a very joyous and pleasant time, indeed. They presented us with small spoons; we are going to get large ones. I don’t think much of the solemnity of the initiation.

January 31st – We had our 1st meeting of the Cochelaureate this evening. I was opposed to their voting on the officers at this time; but, however, I lost my motion to put it over a week. Billie Pratt got the presentation speech, and Borden, the spoon. Parke wanted the spoon like everything, and behaved exemplary when he lost it. They wanted me to be Treasurer, but I positively refused. Al White received the post in my stead.

March 18th – There is quite a space passed over in which I can put down nothing definite. I have been very busy. No one hardly has any idea of how closely I keep myself employed.

At the next Coch meeting, I was elected to deliver the Philosophical oration, and Bob Ives, the Latin Salutatory. I am very well pleased with this arrangement ,as far as I am concerned. I felt rather badly at first, because I did not get the presentation speech. You see, that Billie Pratt had a tie vote on the first day, and on the second made set to get it over Pierson. To think that he, one of the poorest scholars in the class, having no reputation as a writer, one of the most profane men in the class, having deadly memories throughout the class, should get the appointment, was rather too much to bear. No one knows, however, my feelings in the case. He has hardly written a composition or dispute since he has been in College. He has skirted them all, or rather, read other fellow’s productions.

I have been home 3 weeks running on Wednesdays; partly, to have Kate’s counsel in writing my Oration, and partly, to see Father. The subject of my oration is “Character As Developed By Emergencies” I have it all written now. I am about disgusted with it, but I suppose it is about as good as I can write, so I must be satisfied.

For the last week, at the Oysters where I am boarding now, we have a new system: only two meals a day: after recitation in the morning, and recitation at night. The first, we call breakfast; the second, dinner. Although I voted against the system, still, I quite like it now. Ed Mather, Whithrop, Pugsley, and myself, were those who opposed it.

Father has been continually improving, and can now hold his cane in his hand, ,not strongly, of course, but in such a manner as it will not slip out. His spirits are excellent. Aunt Cornelia comes over to see him often. She has taken a great interest in his sickness.

The last time I went home, I met Sarah there. She had come up the night before and went the same time I had intended to go (Thursday). She had planned out a visit right after Father was taken, but she has a weakness in her back, I believe. Father’ does not care particularly to see her, any more than the rest of us, I imagine. She and Anna Dewitt are keeping house together in New York, and it pleases Father that she is trying o be economical.

When we had our Coch Meeting at Parke’s room two or 3 weeks ago, we had an entertainment Hot Schotch Whiskey, Port Wine, and Ale, besides oranges and apples. We were making a pretty good rowe, I suppose, I mean a pretty good noise, when we heard a rap at the door. We hollered “Who’s there” two or 3 times, and a voice answered in these words, “It’s I, DeForest of South Entg” We hurried off the Hot Scotch glasses, and the bottle which had contained it, leaving on the table two small bottles of imported ale and the wine glasses having a little undrank in the bottom.

He wanted to know what was the cause of all the rowe and Parke tried to explain it as well as he could, pretty nearly tipsey as he was. Here are only two bottles of ale, not enough to get excited on, I am sure. But as the Tutor was going out, he espied the wine glasses on the table and said here “Is that wine I see on the table?” I believe Parke denied this too. Just before he left came in, Atterbury, Al White, and myself, had run into the little room. Al furthest under the bed, I next, and Atterbury on the top.. He told us to disperse and we did. Parke went down to see him afterward, and tried to explain it to him. He succeeded so that Old Deforest promised to bring it before the faculty in as mild a light as possible.

The next Monday, Chamberlain went to see him, but made nothing out of the old cuss. Hhe was still more obstinate than ever, and persisted in doing what he had said he would. That Wednesday, while they were deliberating on our cases, we all went down to the Rocky Invitational of Mat.and had a very fine supper. When we came back we found they had decided to give us all warnings, but left it to the discretion of the faculty instructors whether they should be given.

Old Tommie made us all promise to have no more intoxicating drinks at the meetings. I think this to be a fully good reform. He felt rather badly, he told me, if the things he had lately heard proved true he would not send his son to College, unless he, himself, lived in New Haven. Well, they had just suspended two Freshman for getting drunk, and were but opening their eyes to the dissipation that was everywhere apparent. This, incidentally, was the reason that they were so severe upon us. Moreover, the whole thing took place during the week for the Prayer for Colleges

During this next week I went to see old Chapin several times, and he promised to intercede for us, but we found out afterward, that he attended a Masonic funeral, and did not think this was hardly right.

The next week, Wednesday, they reconsidered the matter (the time Chapin was absent) and voted us all warnings, and letters besides. I was in hopes they would not do this because I was afraid Father would not know what to make of it. I have learned that unless Bob Ives, White Pervis, and myself, had been on the committee, the whole com. would have been suspended. The faculty are very much mistaken about White,. Pervis, and Atterbury; they think they were drunk. If they only knew the truth, they would find out that Bob Ives and I are the only exemplary ones.

When I found they were going to send letters home, I immediately wrote home to Kate and Mother informing them of the circumstance, and advising that the letter containing the warning be not given to Father, stating as my reason that I thought it would worry him, because it would take him a long time to understand it, and feeling guiltless as I do, it seemed like making a great deal of trouble where, in fact, none was necessary. And as I had not kept it from one parent, I thought it would be right, under the circumstances, for him not to know it. They agreed with me exactly.

Mother came over here I (on the 21st March) to make calls. (she went to Aunt Amanda’s and Mrs. Robert’s and I don’t know if anywhere else), and having received the letter only the day before, thought fit to show it to me and see what I thought about it. I read it through twice and felt, immediately, as if I had no objection to Father’s seeing it. She carried it home that night and showed it to him. I didn’t know what he thought of it, but am under the impression he thought well of it from what Kate said, who came over Thursday (the 26th) on a visit to Mrs. Roberts for two weeks.

Mother, when she was here, took a walk with Isie Gould, and Dan, and I, when we went down to the depot meet her there. So we put Mother in the cars. I left Dan with Mother and came upstairs, and hurried Isie nearly home, as she was afraid she would be censored if anyone was walking with her. This was a threat to me for, in the first place, I would not like to be caught; and 2ndly, it is not a very pleasant position to be in, that of bidding goodbye to a young lady in front of thirty others.

March 27 – Last night, I went down to see Kate. In a few minutes, in came Jim, who had called upon her when she was out, but the servant, misunderstanding Jim and thinking that he said Miss Turner, invited him into the Parlor and called her down. They both sat together some time, and then Jim got of the fix someway or other. It must have been a very amusing time; I should like to have seen them.

Clint has just come in, and says he has been playing cards since dinner. It is now past 6 o’clock. I have been cramming ins with Beach and Lewis in their room [ Aminis Anabaacis???] to which there is no pony. We have read about 12 pages and crammed the notes.. It is the first time, I guess, that I ever studied Saturday afternoon, but I’ve been sick for a week and a half now with a cold, and am under the doctor’s care. My principal difficulty lies in my throat which makes me very hoarse, so that it holds me, almost entirely, from rehearsing to myself. Although I’ve been in to Baily several times; he says my piece (Junior Exhibition pieces) will go very well indeed.

My black suit is nearly done. I have a swallow tail, the whole costs $47.00. My boots are nearly done, they cost 7.00. I put the prices down, for it may be pleasant to look back and compare prices in times to come. There are evening prayer meetings held now at 6:30 – Union meetings they are, and quite interesting too. I have been unable to attend them, with the exception of two, because we have but two meals a day, one after the morning recitation, and the other following the evening.

March 28, 1863 I have been electioneering a little during this past week among the Freshmen. The other two Societies are doing so and so we must. Lyman is sick with fever and ague again. I pity such a sick and ambitious man. I wish old Pug would bring around my supper or dinner rather it is so raining I dare not go out, although I shall bundle up pretty well. I try to get out to the Cock[?] meeting in the next entry at Steven’s room. Lately I have looked out more words in the English Dictionary -- and find myself improving by it. I do want to be a good writer and speaker and canvaser. I now expect to be a story teller for I have not the least tact that way, but I think perhaps I may succeed in the others partially. I want to live more a Christian life than I do, but the Devil is putting doubts in my mind all the time and trouble me a good deal. I ought to trust more than I do, and I pray God this moment that he will give me more of his spirit. I seem to take things of this kind so deliberately that it hardly seems as if I was a Christian, and yet I know that it is not necessary to have a great excitement about the matter but that a person may take it cooly as well as otherwise. Oh! shall I ever see God! I mean shall I ever praise him in his kingdom above. This certainly would be a blessed thing to do. Am I not hurried too much? Do I give him enough of my time? Do I commune with him enough? Do I feel and act as if my eveery action were scrutinized by him and capable of itself of setting a good example. I do wish I had the same faith and trust in God which Jesus had in his Father when he was on earth. This keeps troubling me all the time. I ask myself are you willing to lay down here and die just where you are? When I am walking it occurs, when I am talking, when I am studying, at all times it comes upon me, do you want to die? Now I can not say that I want to die, to leave the world young as I am with the bright hopes I have before me, with my parents living and my sisters, the only son too as I am. Oh, I can not say I want to die now. Yet if I am Christ’s why should not I be glad if someone should murder me. Well, these may seem trifling but they trouble me a good deal. I can not help thinking that it is a Christian’s duty to want to die, and oh, do I! do I! am I ready and am I waiting for that dreadful change.

April 1, 1863 Dan and I went down to see Kate last night. Most of the girls had gone to Church (Lent). After we had been thee a little while, Kate called Isie Gould in. Dan talked to Kate and I to Isie. Mr and Mrs Roberts were not in the room and we had a splendid time. But I am a little afraid they might have heard some part of the conversation which, if they did, would implicate me in flirting. Isie is going to stay to Junior Exhibition. Mrs. Durrah gave us the ‘big’ dinner of the town last night. We went, arrived at 4 o’clock and came away at 6. Turkeys, 1 ham, 1 tongue, pies of every kind & description, ice cream, jelly, ale, apples, almonds, walnuts, raisins and everything else. Pretty huge it was. I am just recovering from a huge cold. I was never so impatient at anything in my life. Just as I want to practice I am taken with a horrible cold. I ought to be electioneering Freshmen inasmuch as ΔΚΕ has commenced already. I think it is a miserable idea, since it must necessarily take away from the dignity of Junior Societies. Old Lewis and Beach are in here, sitting by my fire. Lewis is a pretty nice fellow, but Beach is pretty rough and boorish -- with two of them they become somewhat of bores. Lyman has just got up from the “Shakes” again. He is sick with them a good deal.

April 8, 1863 Junior Exhibition today. After Recitation last night I went up to see Jimmie, since some of the other fellows had to see where my place came to speak, since they were decided strictly by lot. He told me it came “first” -- he was so long in getting this out that I supposed of course he was going to say “in the afternoon” but was happy to learn--he added-- in “the evening” My swallowtail came up to my room a few nights ago together with my pants and vest. I am very well pleased with their appearance. I was appointed one of the ushers. I had the left hand aisle to attend to. It made me very busy of course. Hal did the best in the afternoon. Job Williams was said to have done well -- so also Lanman, but I did not think the former did extra and I did not hear the other. Him and Paine I did not hear. I flunkied my supper and went down to Mrs. Robert’s to escort Kate and Cordelia. I had met her down to the Depot that morning and Isie who it seems staid over one day to see me speak as well as to see Cordelia. I procured for them good seats in the middle aisle. It is unnecessary for me to speak further of the Exhibition. Henry Owen congratulated me the next day as having had the finest piece, so also Lanman and many others. All seemed to consider me as one of the first 3 best speakers at least. Boyden, M.H. Williams or in the place of the latter. Geo. Merriam was considered as 2 out of that number. Atterbury, who came after me, and in passing I will state he was the only one, myself excepted, who had a dress coat, made quite the fizzle. I went up to prompt Rockwood and Taft, but they did not require it. Rockwood went up with me. Clint went home with Kate. I with Cordelia and Isie. I promised to dedicate my piece to Isie provided I should do well and as she declared I had done well, I suppose I must copy it and give it to her. When she went off in the cars, I gave her a small piece of my committee ribon to remember the Exhibition. I saw Sadie Carr off, helped her about her trunk. Mrs. Roberts was carried off in the cars and so she couldn’t go. I secured her trunk for her and saw her off in the next day. I got through my examination all night, I guess. I studied pretty hard on Philosophy. After trying to do a little electioneering for ΑΔΦ, I went home.

April 14, 1863 Tuesday afternoon at 4:30 PM I had intended walking over with Dave Ogden on the next day and as it was pretty warm and as I should have to buy a ticket at any rate in order to get any trunk home, I decided to go by steam.

April 15, 1863 It was hot today. Dave came, I believe. If I am not mistaken, it is fast day. If so, Mr. Sedgwick and Mr. [name illegible] have had an awful fight in the conference room after the service was over and the members were attending to annual business. Dave spent a week with us. (Remember I am sitting in my college room in the 13th of May) and quite a pleasant one too, for us certainly and apparently for him. Kate and he came to [illegible] as usual. During vacation Charles Judson has put up a whole length of fence extending from Miss Polly’s to the corner. From there to the South gate, the style will be the same, but not to this the old board fence will stand and after it is a little lowered and new posts supply the places of the old ones. The cowyard[?] fence will be lowered in the same manner. Father walked out nearly every day and saw the men working. I took him to Bridgeport about 3 or 4 times during my vacation. I have busied myself some part of the time in pruning fruit trees. I refer to the Draught Pear trees in the garden. I have also trimmed the evergreen trees along the fence so that now they look much improved. I picked out an overcoat for Father and Mother was very much pleased with my taste. She and I selected a coat for him. William has been sick most of the vacation -- he has one of those pains of indigestion in his breast as his sister Selena had. He was put under Doctor [name illegible] care, but failing to obtain any relief from him, he rode over with me to Doctor [name illegible] and he feels very much better.

May 6, 1863 We had a man engaged to take his place for a portion, but he failed to keep his engagement. He was the son of Mary Burns. When I came away from home, Father was a little worse. The day before he woke up with a little cold which affected the cords of his neck so as to make them stiff and his foot (paralyzed one) so that it was a little swollen around the ankle. The afternoon before I left he had such pains through his ankle that he initially believed he had the gout. He declared it was and would accept of no other possible name for his complaint. It was laughable to see him. Between the paroxysms of pain he would laugh tremendously at the idea and would speak of Uncle Sam Nichols and Doctor Goulding -- then would come a winch and his face would screw up in every direction. This lasted about 2 hours and a half. During that evening he suffered not at all -- he only had a twinge or two during the night. Uncle Henry had started off for [illegible] food that same afternoon but was left behind by the tram by reason of a mistake which Judd had made in telling him of the time. He will probably start from the bridge tonight in the express. He was elected a Representative of the town of Stratford. He would never have consented to have run for this nomination had he not been the only man who had any chance of running in.

May 7, 1863 Today I returned at 7:15 PM, meeting in the cars C.R. Strong with whom I sat. And Pugsley and Kingsbury of 63. I really never felt so badly about leaving home as I did this time and I know those now at home never felt my loss to be the greater. However, it must be. I hate, yes I fairly hate, to enter upon the duties of another term. Wooden Spoon. And electioneering for campaign President of the Brothers, not whether my hard studies are certainly any but inviting. However, I must expect to work if at least I would win. I found a nice fire in my stove. Clint had one already lit and it was very comfortable of a cold, windy, rainy night to sit down in a warm cheerful room.

May 25, 1863 Quite a distance between these two days, but I hope briefly to narrate the principal items of importance. One would naturally think that the 12th of May would be a day of which I would have a great deal to say, but I hardly think that this will be the case. [Note: May 12th is John William Sterling’s birthday. He was 19 years old.] It passed off very quietly. I received from home a 5 dollar bill with which Mother had intended to buy me a picture, but finding none which met with her approbation she sent it to me by means of which to make a selection for myself. I am certainly very much obliged to her. I cannot but feel what an improvement I have made in a year. I certainly stand higher in the college world and as far as personal religion goes, it seems it really seems as if I did have a stronger hope and faith in Jesus. I have earnestly prayed that another year will prove more advantageous to me in every respect. I received a beautiful letter from Mother too, which I prize exceedingly. I think Kate wrote me on her birthday. I wrote my Philosophical just before I came back. Kate’s assistance made it a much easier burden to bear. The very Monday I came back I commenced electioneering for David B. Lyman as Campaign President of the Brothers in Unity and I have worked pretty faithfully too. I have had the whole charge of the campaign and I never worked so hard before at anything. I have risen from my bed every morning at 5 o’clock, no matter what time I went to bed. This, when you come to consider that I did not have a spare moment during the day to rest in and was kept up late nights studying and electioneering will seem like working. Whittelsey helped me in this way and I by the “coalition” made in the beginning of our year had the Campaign Presidency of the Brothers in Unity fall the lot and I nominated them as [illegible] by Lyman. ΔΚΕ of 64 was obliged to vote against us on account of the coalition and we rather expected to control the 6 ΔΚΕ men of ‘65. [illegible] of course counted on these. May 25, 1863 The case more exactly stands as follows.

[no entry describing the “case”]

June 16, 1863 Another long time has elapsed since I made my last entry in this book, but no one knows what a prodigious amount of work I am obliged to do. To bed between 11 or 12 after dressing at 4:30 or 5 AM makes a pretty long day of it. I just have come back of ΑΔΦ -- it is early, I could not stay because 1st there was no business to keep me and 2nd on account of my duties tomorrow. Crane asked the whole Society to take cream with him down to [Snowz?] which we were all glad to do. Our last meeting there has ended -- the Sophomores will be initiated on Friday night. Tomorrow I start for the wedding of Jas. C. Thomas’ brother, who will be married to a Miss Whelply of Morristown. She is a cousin of Frank Woodruff. He is not going though, partly because he has no clothes and partly because he wants to study and partly I imagine for the sake of [illegible] Societies. I shall start tomorrow at 9:45 AM and return at 11 o’clock Thursday night. I have just been shaved -- and it is the first time a razor ever was applied to my face. I have cut the hairs off my chin since last vacation, but never before was shaved. My moustache and gotee still remain. Bob Ives and Thomas have dyed theirs. Those of our class who are to stand as Groomsmen are Jas. C. Thomas, Jessup, Steve Pierson, Bob Ives and John Wm. Sterling. We all are to take our dress coats -- they are being packed over to Mason and Rockwell now. We of course shall have a most gorgeous time -- I only dread losing so much time. Louisa Wilmot is going to stand as one of the Bridesmaids. I shall take pains not to stand with her. I sent off yesterday morning about 18 Wooden Spoon Exhibition invitations. The Seniors were appointed to come up to my room to procure them between 2 and 2:30 PM on Thursday or Friday last. Charley Atterbury assisted me. I hardly know what to think about Senior Society. I of course want to go but want an election to the best-- Skull and Bones. I could have gone to Scroll and Key if I had wished, but refused in this way. Charley Burnett, who seems to have charge of all these matters, asked to have a private talk with me a short time ago and the purpose of it is this: He said there were a few of them who were going together and had power of choosing their friends, in other words they were “packing” Scroll and Key -- despicable idea!! and they wanted me to assent to join them. He said or rather led me to understand that Dan was going to BBand[?] that it was my best policy to accept the proffered opportunity. I soon made him back down from that and he acknowledged that I had the best chance for that position of any man in the Society. I did not absolutely refuse but said I was almost willing, yet quite willing to give my place up to Dan -- I learn since he is going. I went to [illegible] of ‘63 then and told him how things were and asked his advice. Now he rooms right next to Bingham -- and is his counsellor -- he told me next day “don’t you go to Scroll and Key by any means -- give the idea immediately up” -- what does that signify? I wish I had time to write down the speculation of different men -- it would be amusing. I practice my piece twice every day and rehearse to Bailey -- the Exhibition is going off very well I guess. The first “Let” of our Editors is out -- it is a very fine one. The Townsend premiums are out -- Allen -- Chamberlain. Duffield. Hamlin. Fowler and Sumner W. are the successful rivals. I make out to study as much as usual -- pretty hard time I tell you.

I do hope I shall return safely on Thursday night -- if not it will be all for the best -- I pray the Lord to preserve me and finally save me for the sake of his Dear Son Jesus in whom I repose my trust for Eternal Life and blessedness in Heaven.

June 17, 1863 All of our dress coats are packed up by Rockwell and Mason (under the New Haven house) and after being excused we were riding merrily in the cars by 10 o’clock on Wednesday morning. We were very much delayed by the horse cars at New York and failed thereby making such time as had been hoped for by us. Mr. Thomas had promised to meet us there by 1 o’clock, but as it was 2 by this time we of course had to take care of our own trunk. We at last arrived at 13 Remsen St, Brooklyn, when we immediately sat down to dinner with Mr and Mrs and the 3 Misses Thomas, also with William Thomas who seemed as cool as if he was returning from some lecture or literary entertainment. They had some of the best cider which I have ever drank. We were too late for the 3 o’clock train to Morristown, but were in time for the 5 o’clock train. Bob Ives, Jessup, and Steve Pierson however had gone over to the city immediately after dinner to see some friends. Thomas and I had gone out riding and arrived at the stables in time to take the coach to the house, where were waiting W. Thomas and Lottie. We went over with them -- but had no sooner arrived in New York than such a storm of rain commenced as I have rarely seen. We had to pick up our trunks and put them on top -- of course we were very anxious lest our coats and bridal clothing should be spoiled, but fortune again favored us and they were barely wrinkled. I helped a Miss Thomas out of the carriage -- we had no umbrella and were obliged to run for our lives almost. We finally reached Morristown. The other fellows who had gone over to New York were in the same train. W. Thomas and Lottie rode in a private carriage, but all of us fellows piled into the stage where was a young lady who proved afterwards to be the one with whom I had the pleasure of standing. She went into another carriage however before we started. We went immediately to the Hotel and after being shaved -- having 1st procured our supper -- we called upon the future bride. I may mention here that it was in New Haven the night before that a razor was first applied to my face. We did not reach the house till late for various delays. After being acquainted with the Bridegroom we went through the evolutions several times among ourselves -- then with the [illegible] ladies I met Carrie Wilmot there who did not stand but took Lottie’s place for the time being because she was sewing on her dress. When we had finished our call, we adjourned to a [illegible] where we carried on in a great way. The next morning we took a long walk to a boarding school where we left in a bush some sweet lines on a Yale Philosophical card which 3 young ladies must have got as they saw us from the window. We then returned and dressed ourselves for the occasion -- a carriage was sent for us and we were soon at the house in our dress suits with white gloves looking at the beautiful presents. In a moment it was decided we should join the young ladies who were dressed in white in an opposite room. We were quickly walking down with them and some were [illegible] in a semi-circle looking at the happy couple. The minister stood in the focus of this ellipse and after a short ceremony pronounced them married. They were then congratulated by us and afterwards we assisted and ushered in bringing up the many people who were anxiously waiting for escorts. When the congratulations were over, all of the groomsmen and bridegroom repaired to another room where was a fine repast provided for us. When this was finished we adjourned to another room still where after a half an hour of pleasant conversation the wedding cake was cut. All of us fellows had to run like lightning for the carriage in order to pack up our things and get off. We made out to do and arrived at the Depot just in time. W. Thomas and his wife came in the cars with us and put up at the 5th Avenue Hotel where we called upon them for a minute just before we left. I believe we went over to Brooklyn where we enjoyed a supper. We reached New Haven safely at quarter of 12 o’clock. I had taken my Astronomy down with me in order to study as I came up, but unfortunately I left it in the cars. I was then obliged to procure one at this late hour so as to get it in the morning. Before I went to the wedding Clint and I drew up for lots to see who should go to the door first. It fell to his lot. So about 12:30 PM they knocked like thunder at my door -- I was asleep though not very soundly. Clint punched me so that I walked out of the bedroom, while one of the number shut the bedroom door behind me and after 2 questions -- to the last of which I [illegible] “I will” -- and congratulatory remarks made more impressive by hearty shakes of the hand, they left me to continue my sleep. Clint congratulated me as I was hopping into bed. I arose about 5 o’clock to get my lesson. I was no sooner dressed than Dan came around to show me the list -- we both cussed a little at the men. Χ? has 11 men, ΔΚΕ 3 and ΑΔΦ 1. Dan went to the “scrolls” -- we were the only two men from our Society who obtained a Senior Society election.

June 19, 1863 Tonight we held Initiation to ΑΔΦ on which occasion I had the honor to have the Presentation speech, which I must confess was slightly smutty as well as bordering on the witty. We had two plays before we went down to the Tremont House to supper and one afterward I believe which I did not return to for I wholly unable to do. Our supper was very fine indeed. I had the pleasure of making a toast.

June 20, 1863 Saturday afternoon we had a rehearsal at which we were engaged until supper time. After supper at Thomas’ invitation, I went down to a Miss Picks on Meadow St. Parke went down with us. Chamberlain was there and a good many college boys. There was an entertainment afterward at which we partook. [Sounds somewhat like a brothel. Dewey] We were kept there longer than we expected because we wanted to go to the cock meeting. However, it made no difference because 2 or 3 of the fellows had gone off on a drunk. Besides there was no business of importance. We had a big dinner at Mrs. Darrals this afternoon. It seems that while I was gone all of the fellows had agreed to treat the table -- I mean all who received Senior Society elections were to treat the oldest, so I of course paid my 3.00 but did not drink one particle of champagne or claret. There was a whole case of champagne.

June 21, 1863 I either staid (I remember now; I did stay) in bed all day and received medicine from the Doctor [name illegible] for a very sore throat which I had become affected with as I was returning from the marriage. I was very tired indeed, so I did not object to remaining in the house. If I remember rightly it is the second time I have been absent from church since I entered college.

June 22, 1863 We had no Recitation this morning because we would have regularly Astronomy, but as were to have a lecture at noon and as Prof. Loomis wanted the time to prepare for the lecture, we were as a Division excused. Notices had been put up for the diffferent classes to assemble at the different cocks room for the purpose of giving to them their tickets for Wooden Spoon. It was alloted to me to give the tickets to the Seniors. Atterbury helped me. In a short time they were all disposed of. The Seniors received 4 Juniors 4 Sophomores ___ and Freshmen ____. Each of us cocks had reserved for ourselves 30 seats. I received the 3 choice and chose Section H and Part of O. We reserved for the Senior Cocks 7 seats out of the sections that first came to us. The first 2 seats were left for bachelor members of our class. All of the remainder of the body of the lady of the house were reserved for our own class. Each fellow was given 2 seats (2 of the 4 they received) which were assigned by lot. This is the first time the Juniors ever received reserved seats. All day we were busy in selling Promenade Concut[?] tickets. The day was rather dubious and we were afraid we would be stuck on the Exhibition. I went down in my dress suit with white gloves and after laying around (excuse the expression) some little time and having enjoyed myself in talking to some young ladies to whom I was so fortunate as to be introduced, I came away about half past 11 quite tired. The other fellows remained until 3 AM of Tuesday to rehearse, but as I knew my part well it was a small matter for me to be excused.

June 23, 1863 This morning I went down to the Parke House stables to help fix the opening lead. I went down to the Hall after dinner and after fixing a little and rehearsing for a short time, we all came up with the promise of being at the Hall at 5:15 PM in our dress suits, all prepared to remain until the performance was over. I was very much perplexed to know what do do about the Sheltons. I had invited them and they had written they would be at the New Haven House on Tuesday. I found their trunk there but as the House was full, I did not know where to look for them. Jim Mitchell offered his services and went to every hotel in town to find where they were, but he did not succeed. So as a last resort I enclosed the tickets in an envelope and nailed it upon their trunk. As soon as I reached the Hall I gave orders to all the doorkeepers to let into the Hall any young ladies who said their name was Shelton and who had reserved seats. I found them in the Hall afterward and had quite a nice time in talking with them. I will state here that at 7 the door was open and all of those who had ladies with them were allowed to enter, but all of those fellows who were single were kept out until 7:30 PM. We found that this plan worked admirably, although we expected to have considerable trouble. I kept the left aisle free from disturbance, seating persons in their proper seats and seeing that those who had no rights to seats should not cabbage[?] others who were entitled to them. Soon the time came to distribute programs and with a large number of programs I started for the left gallery and after a long while (rather about 10 minutes) they were all distributed. I then came downstairs and distributed the remainder to those in the middle aisle. It was soon time for the performance to begin and after the playing by the 22nd Regiment Band, the opening read was performed, which produced universal satisfaction. The arrangement was made in the following manner: First a cone was made of a few sticks and then around with canvas. This was then divided in the middle so that they would fall apart when pushed asunder. These were kept together by works which “Mat” when underneath could unhunk and push apart. Above this cone was a small inverted cone connected with each half of the first mentioned cone. Ivy was then sewed on each half both on the cone below and that above. The upper cone was filled with beautiful flowers which were piled up in such a manner as to make a cone of flowers above the 2nd cone. Interposed in the ivy of the lower cone were small boquets. Our large spoons were then laid against the cone and in the bowls of them was placed a long beautiful boquet. You see that this would make a beautiful appearance when the whole was separated and the flowers since scattered in every direction as we took our spoons in one hand and the single boquets in the other and, as it were, cut the cone in two. The Spoon man then appeared when all of us bowed to the audience and the curtain was lowered and I immediately took my position just behind the proscenium where I stationed myself to correct Bob in his Salutatory. He never went by his manuscript at all. He was indebted to me for having anything like a good piece because it was composed of innumerable mistakes. He brought it into the meeting several times and never knew anything about the matter, apparently at least, but myself & I corrected it for him all of the way through. I can not stop to write about the colloquys. My Philosophical appeared to go off well. Everyone said it was very comical from the ambiguity of the words as well as their length and also that it was splendidly delivered. I had taken lessons from Bailey (4 dollars worth, I believe) and I know I spoke it very gracefully, forcibly and fluently. The presentation speech went off pretty well, but if everyone knew, as a good many suspect, that his speech (Billie Pratt’s) was not written by himself, they would think a good deal differently from what they do. A great many think that I wrote it. The Reception speech was very fine. Everything seemed to pass off well with the exception of the music, which I think was a failure. Especially the performance of the Quartette, the reason lay in the playing, it is said. The composition of the music was fine, but the fellows had not practiced together sufficiently to give them confidence.

Continued at:

John William Sterling Journal: July-December 1863

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