John William Sterling Journal: July-December 1862

Continued from: John William Sterling Journal: January-June 1862

July 1st - We should have spoken one week ago today, but other things prevented. I spoke a sarcastic piece commencing “You, Mr. Renwick, are quite right.” I spoke it a great deal better than the former piece. If I had had a better piece the first time, and spoken it as well as I did the last piece, I should be sure of a prize.

July 4th – The Fourth of July is not as lively here in New Haven as it always used to be in old Stratford. It may be accounted for in two ways: 1st, all the life of the city has gone to Bridgeport, where is concentrated for the day all the Military of Connecticut. Cousin John Wm. Sterling has won for himself great credit, as well as for his artillery company. 2ndly, a great many of the sporting class have gone up to Hamilton Park to witness a horse race, greased pig ra [crossed out] chase, sack race, etc., and Eli is master of the feast.

I have not told them at home yet, nor am I going to do so until I go there, that I have taken out a leave of absence for a week or ten days. I am obliged to ‘tend Recitation,’ i.e., I go when I feel like it. I took it out for my health. I think I am a little billious; the reason probably is I haven’t taken exercise enough. My chum has had a leave of absence for two weeks, he cannot study on account of weak eyes; they trouble him very much.

Today I crammed a good deal of Euclid.

July 5th Today I crammed a good deal of Euclid.[Transcriber Note: Reiteration in original indicated by ditto marks).] I am now as far as the 3rd book of Supplement. This is about the first cramming I have done since my absence from College duties.

July 9th – The last half of our Division spoke for the prize this morning. Within a week or so, there has been a race. The day was rainy, I do not remember the date, Varnname took the Champion flag, having made the quickest time ever known in this harbor. If I remember rightly, it was 18’.35". Glyuna was about 2 minutes behind hand, on account of here [sic - her] steering apparatus giving away.

July 10th - Today we went into Biennial Rhetoric. The faculty had commanded our division officers to inform us there would be allowed no singing while going into Biennial. So we had raised (about 5 cents apiece) a sum of money sufficiently large enough to have a Fife and Drummer to play and drum the Dead March. It is always the custom for the preceding class to head the procession of that class which is going into Biennial.

The faculty had decided that the officers of the Juniors should keep the Juniors in till we had gone into the Hall. But Chapin had forgotten, and allowed his division to leave just in time. The bell had commenced to ring and we were marching along, part of ’63 being before us, hardly any one of us daring to mutter, not to say sing a note of the usual Doxology. It was impossible not to regret that our Fifer and Drummer had disappointed us. We were just about opposite North College (we had formed in front of South College) when we saw old Hadly, stocking along with his crutch and cane, looking pretty sharply at those of us trying to raise a note.

We had just commenced to turn at right angles, this side of Divinity College, when ’63, ahead of us, struck up the Doxology in a good loud state. Old “Had” by this time was even mad and he quickened his jump, and was midway between the two Colleges, and was just going to speak, when his crutch went into the seq [crossed out] sewer and jerked the word “Cease” out of him two or three times rather rapidly. His cane instinctively flew up and, as Neptune is represented with his trident erect in his hand and a word of anger on his lips as subduing the waves, so “Had”, with “subdued energy,” shouted to us all “Cease – cease – at once.” His eyes were particularly sharp toward ’63. It did no good however, “Old Hundred” rose upon the air.

Packard, seeing “Had’s” distress came to his assistance and having consulted together for a moment, walked silently into Biennial Hall. The bell had finished ringing when we all were in the Hall, and for this, we were charged one mark all around. Mr. Hutcheson said in the Hall, that those who did not sing should report themselves to their division officers, and that those who did not, should take 3 marks. This was rather a lie on the part of the faculty, because Hutch had told us that 10 or 15 marks would be given us, if the law was broken.

Our Rhetoric paper was quite easy. I got along very well on it. Dan went in with us and got average on it, as much as he expected, he had studied it all alone by himself at home. Saturday morning, we went into Latin of freshman year. I had read almost [sic] of Livy about 3 weeks ago. Horace, I had partially read him too; I felt quite unwell during this time. I read over some of Anthon’s notes on Horace, all the vocabularies in Latin prose, and about 3 sentences in every exercise, and tried to commit some of Pulz and Arnold’s. I did very well on the paper. I forgot to state that during the session in Rhetoric, the declamation prizes were read off, the 3rd prize was given, undivided, to me.

Vanname got out the paper in Latin on Sophomore Latin, and gave us only one passage in Juvenal from the hardest Latin -- the 5th. Two questions of Sophomore Freshman Mathematics were out, the first and the last. There is a good deal of uncertainty about the statement, I guess. I won’t mention any of it here. I believe I sat up all night to cram on it and got along pretty well on it. The Sophomore Greek paper was a very nice one. The passage from Demosthenes was pretty difficult. The Sophomore Greek Freshman Greek was generally considered very hard, but I must say it did not strike me as being so hard. It is said that Prof. Hadly went home and changed the paper after he was treated so impolitely by our class. Sophomore Mathematics were very hard. Mr. Wright, the Assistant Librarian, said that it was the hardest paper ever known. This was Thursday.

On the Sunday before, I was quite sick. I lay on the lounge all day and having quite a high fever, sent for a Homeopathic Physician, a Mr. Skiff. Although I had a fever, I had been taking medicine for constipation thinking that if I could conquer that, I should be well. But Doctor gave me medicine for my fever. I soaked my feet (or rather, Gibson did) before

14th Minnie Shelton has been teasing me all day [Transcriber note: this line crossed out, as evidently it was out of place in the journal.]

going to bed and felt so faint, I could hardly sit upon the bed, although I was quite undressed. After I was fully warm, I fell asleep with a load of clothes on me and two or three bottles I had kicked out of bed. By morning, my fever was nearly gone, and but for my weakness, felt pretty well. I had expected to cram Sophomore Greek, but ol’ Pomeroy swore he had hired the boy before I had, and so I could not get him at all.

About twelve o’clock, I went around to Hall’s room and heard the Pony read in Antigone and Prometheus, and in the afternoon, I got a boy, myself, as well as in the evening. I ate nothing but toast for 3 days. I got along very well in Greek. I had thought I should do pretty poorly, but was agreeably surprised.

Sophomore Mathematics comprised a great deal indeed: Day’s Mathematics, Analytical Geometry, Spherics, Conic Sections, I don’t think of any more now. I didn’t feel as if I could cram much the day we had the examination on Greek, The next day, I felt disinclined and did not do much, but the day after, I was obliged to put in with all my power. My labor did not end with the day, but lasted all night. I did not sleep more than ¾ of an hour.

We had a Biennial Committee Meeting and that had taken up a good deal of our time. Our paper (the last) on Sophomore Mathematics was pretty difficult, I assure you. I wrote as fast as possible ad [crossed out] and did a [crossed out] everything with the exception of abo [crossed out] the last question. I did not have time for that. Almost everyone flunked this from ignorance. We had 5 extra minutes for this, as it was considered a long paper by Prof. Hudson, himself.

When half past eleven had arrived, I folded up my papers and cleared. Most of our fellows had formed in front of the Hall. W. White, Randall, and myself were, in a moment, distributing pipes. First, the committee marched 3 by 3. The board followed them, and finally came the remaining part of the class of ’64. No one, ever but a person who saw them, can for a moment imagine how finely they looked as we marched two by two down to the depot, where was an [crossed out] 2 extra cars ready for us. When we were all seated, and the car was in motion, the Song Committee distributed the songs.

In a few moments we were at the landing place. We then formed as before, and walked a very sandy, dusty road till after a half an hour’s walk we arrived at the Savin’s Rock Hotel. Most of us went to the barroom. Dan treated Sat and myself to a Claret Punch. We then adjourned to the grass where we sung our songs. We sang and talked for a good while, I believe we distributed pipes before dinner, I forget about this though. We had our dinner in a large tent. The table of the committee was in the center. Fred sat at the head of the table, and I sat next. We shared champagne together. Fred was toastmaster, but only gave a few toasts.

Jack Randall replied to one. He was quite tipsy, but made a pretty good speech. After we had been at the table an hour and a half or so, we adjourned and had a good smoking singing circle. Billie Pratt and I were great friends. What was too bad was the fact of Matt Borden being sick. He was taken very suddenly in the night and Doctor was called. When it was time to come home by the way, Jack Randall was so tight he got us all to the depot before the trains. By his carelessness and being too drunk to walk, he rode with Dan and Chamberlain, and ________ from whom he wrested the reins and drove furiously into town. Andy rode too, but I won’t say he was tight. Well we marched to the depot where we waited about an hour. The time was well spent in singing, dancing including rushing. O, if I wasn’t tired.

At last the train came, we came to the New Haven depot safely, and Terry and I led the procession up Chapel St. We filed off to Hutch’s room; he made us a pretty little speech. We found none of the others in, We then went to Matt Borden’s room and cheered him, then we returned and going in the middle of the Green, we made a circle and sang the Doxology; after which, I proposed 9 cheers for the Class of 64 or something else, I forget what now. These were heartily responded to and in return we received 9 from the class! We then dispersed. I went straight to my room, and lay around on the bed. With the rest of our fellows in the house, we retired pretty early. The next morning, I procured a late breakfast. The next night (Sat) the Library fellows had a big light.

Sunday – I went with Charlie Burnett down to Dr. Bacon’s Church in the afternoon. I listened to the Baccalaureate Sermon preached by the Pres. I hardly think it as fine as the one I heard from Mr. Fisher, last year.

Monday and Tuesday were occupied with the Freshman examinations. I was quite busy in electioneering both for ΓN, and the Brothers in Unity unit and I partially sicked out a carpet. [?]

Thursday was Commencement day. I attended part of the morning. Kate came over to meet Mrs. Adams and a Mrs. Stevens. Kate [crossed out] I returned home Thursday afternoon, joyous to find the President got very angry in the morning, because the audience were applauding without regard to merit, and in a fit of wrath, sprung from his feet and declared he would no longer hold his office unless the noise and disturbance instantly ceased. He added emphasis to his words by means of his fists. There was no more noise. Kate returned the same day and moment with myself.

August 2 – Julia Bunnell and John Benjamin were at tea this evening. Julia has been staying here.

"8th – Kate today went to Birmingham and brought home with her Werdie and Minnie Shelton.

"16 – Miss Sarah and Julia Calhoun came today. They look as usual. Miss Sarah as prim and precise, and Miss Julia, as silent and yet as prettily spoken.

"18th – Today I went home with Minnie and Werdie Shelton, although the Miss Calhouns were home, still. As it was a previous engagement, I was let off.

21st – I returned the 21st Thursday. I did not carry any baggage save what was done up in my pocket in a piece of paper: two handkerchiefs, a collar, and toothbrush.

22 – The two Calhouns went today in a rain storm, almost. Miss Sarah had had uncommon luck the first day with me, but I fully retrieved my fortune with her when I backgammoned her twice, gammoned her 6 times, and broke her once! Miss Annie Mortimer and Louis Holbrook seem to have taken quite a fancy to me. They have Geo Grigg’s horse, and go out riding and they very often meet me. I sit on the backseat and thus get a nice ride. We were going to get up Charades and Tableaux, but Walter Whiten has backed out. (I was very glad); we were obliged to relinquish it. They had me in two plays.

About a week ago, Sarah and Robert, Miss Tinsley, and myself, took a walk down to Mr Berehe’s grounds; they are laid out quite handsomely. By the way, I attended a theatrical. Mr. and Mrs. Ely, Mrs Alfred Beach, Miss Julia, and Ellen Olney were the actors. It seemed to be very well executed. I called after Miss Annie Mortimer, but she was gone, and so I went down alone, but having found her down there, we were soon together and were making fun all the evening. After the play, a great many staid to dance, I did to look on. After this was over, I had the pleasure of Miss Annie’s company home.

August 25 - I went over to the Bridgeport Boat, expecting to find Dan, but for some reason he did not make his appearance

"26 but the next day I succeeded in bringing him. Fred came up with him; he stays at his Uncle’s on Old Mill Hill.

"30 - This morning Dan, Lizzie and I started for Dan’s home at Locust Hill. Dan seemed to have quite a pleasant time when at our house. I don’t know as we did anything particular to relate, but both of us apparently enjoyed ourselves. We met Dave at Locust Hill. While in New York, I purchased a carpet. (Clint gave me the power of his half) for $30.00; a traveling bag 5.00; pants and vest $8, a cravat. I saw, for two days, Mary Lampson, Lib Hunter and Fannie Mankin. I had some real nice walks with Kate, I like her more every time I see her.

They were all pitching in to Dave for some whim. We were waiting two or 3 minutes for Lizzie to clear the table of the dishes and crumbs, when Dave expressed his opinion that it was very unhealthy for the stomach to remain inactive between two heavy dishes. He wanted permission to get up and chew a pear so that his stomach [would] be taking something. It was granted him, but everybody laughed. Dave is quite a strong Abolitionist and is trying to convince the family of his belief. Dan, too, is quite an enemy to Dr. Plummer. For all these, he is laughed at. Aunt Kate saw that I did not mingle in the discussions and ridicules, and so she commended my example and commanded her children to follow it.

Monday, there was a very high wind and a tremendous sea. Jim, Dan and I went down to the wharf and saw and felt the big breakers as they rolled in upon the shore with a deep hoarse note. We went a riding once, we had a plenty of melons, peaches and apples. Dan has a fine dog Leo, a New Foundland.

I returned on the next Thursday, Sept 4. I arrived in Bridgeport in due season, and there, having been met by Father, I rode home with him. I had formed a great idea of making myself a writing desk, a little smaller than mine, so on the next day [Sterling wrote " 5th in margin} I procured some boards and commenced it of black walnut. I work on it a good deal.

Sept 8 – Somewhere along these times, I took Kate to Fairfield. They were drafting, but little opposition was made, although the papers reported otherwise.

14th – Lately we have had pretty bad news: The invasion of Maryland by the rebels and the incompetency of our Generals, and the jealousy existing between them. But I don’t get discouraged. Panicked somewhat. I had made up my mind to two weeks of ill luck, and by this time, is [crossed out] the scale must turn.

18th – While Julia Talbot was here, having finished her supper together with Mr and Mrs Talbot and Alty, good news came of McLelland’s triple victory. The enemy are retreating in a panic and are being pursued with all possible expedition. Now McLelland will have an opportunity of showing himself free from all the attacks of his enemies.

My desk is not quite completed. I sent down to Robert, but he did not get the letter in time. I guess I will have to leave it behind me and give it to Mother to use. Aunt Mary although sick enough to die any moment, holds on miraculously. She suffers a good deal, but is perfectly resigned.

Uncle Henry and I have been selecting a place for the barn he is going to buy from Charles Curtis. The stonework to his store is nearly completed. I persuaded Father to let me pick up the apples in Mother’s orchard, and make cider out of them. He finally consented, and today, I brought from the Mill a 40 gallon cask full.

Jim Mitchell and his Father spent two weeks at Saratoga Springs the first part of the vacation. William and I tacked my hair mattress the other night. I have interested myself in playing on his concertina a little. Kittie Bunnell has been quite sick. Rhoda has the dropsy dangerously.

September 17th – This morning, I returned to New Haven with Jim and his Father, who expects to see the Pres about Jim, who is very feeble. The first thing I did as I came up Chapel St. was to buy myself a felt smooth hat. I had come over with summer clothes on, and thought I would look a little in the New York style.

I did not find Clint here as I, of course, expected. A good many of our fellows were present. After I had procured the key to 54 South Middle, I went up, of course, to look at the room. To my utter surprise, I found almost everything in the room left in great disorder. My iron bedstead was at the door as I had ordered it last term, but I saw nothing of the carpet. I then went after my trunk and sent a man after my carpet. He soon returned with the former, but the latter seemed defunct.

Thursday – I slept with Jim Mitchell last night. an [crossed out] I have been very busy today. I got my first lesson this noon upon my table, and in a borrowed chair.

October 11 – Well from the commencement of this term, I have had quite variable labors. One who has never tried to fix up a room has no idea of the trouble it is to get things arranged. So many little things to do and get. A quarter or 50 cents or 2 dollars are here or there to be paid out. Well it takes money and time and judgment.

A week ago today, I was home. While there, I went with Mother on Monday morning, and measured the places where elm trees should be placed around at her orchard. I also planned other work for William to do about the house and garden. For instance, I showed him about posts for the blackberry vines, about currant bushes, about grading.

Father seemed to me to be looking unusually healthy. I had a letter from Clint the evening before I started. He says his health is better and will be with me in about 6 weeks more. It seems a good while to wait, but I am very contented where I am. I study my lessons pretty faithfully this term and take pleasure in doing so. I really believe I study from principle nowadays. The lessons are unusually easy and I have thus far succeeded admirably in reciting them.

I stayed after the recitation to speak to Tommie Thatcher about my room. I told him there was a place back of my stove which had been omitted in Whitburn’s papering also my bedroom needs whitewashing to prevent the occurrence of another [?]. While he was writing me an order on the papering, he said “I like to hear you recite.” “Why sir?” I replied. “Because” he answered, “ you recite so well.” Now this was quite an unexpected compliment. I write this home to my Father, and I know he will be very much pleased with it. Today, I sold 4 of my old books and have sent the money to New York to purchase a gold pen, No. 4, best quality.

November 15th. - Over a month! Over a month since my last entry, and I assure you, I’ve not been idle a moment of that time. If you really knew what I had done at ΆΔΦ in setting up a new stage, etc. which I cannot mention, no one would accuse me of idlement in the least degree. When I’ve not been studying, I’ve been walking for Society business or superintending Society work, or electioneering Sophomores, or talking politics with Lyman, or writing disputes. I’ve not had a moment’s time to read or talk.

My respect for Charles Booth is still less than I bore towards him last term. Lyman feels so too. He is too jealous and too ambitious. However he will be brought upstanding before he gets through.

November 26th – The eve before Thanksgiving! How many pleasant memories cling about this time-hallowed day. I have just returned from Southworth’s room to get a ticket for the Biennial Jubilee. I am staying over expressly for this purpose. I have also just returned from the depot, where I had expected I would see Miss. Isia Gould, but I’ve met with no success. I scarcely think that she has eluded my grasp.

Well I have just come out of a pretty hard week. The circumstances were about these: I may preface my notes by saying that [Ψ?] and ΆΚΕ formed a coalition and threw us out of the Honors. This, in my humble estimation, would never have happened, if it had not been for that infernal Booth. Well not knowing what could be our policy for the year, wide-sided it was, but to take in more men, a few at least. So E and C Gibson, Chandler, Benjamin, Crane were given electioning. Chandler did not care to join; it was about the same with E Gibson, although he wanted more time to think about it. He’ll probably come in before the end of the term. I opposed very strongly in the Society the plan of taking the Gibsons in together. I preferred to see E in first, because I thought him by far the best fellow. I, at last, gave in, however, and electioneered them both myself, but the results brought in C, and not E. I pledged Crane too.

These men, having received elections, were not taken in until last week or the one before, because the Hall was not ready and the Play “Slashes and Gashes” not as yet commited. My part was Crasher. All ’63 were down to the meeting. I cut two recitations that day and helped Satterthwaite make the punch, fix the curtain, put down the carpet, etc. We had a splendid social meeting. The ’63 men came up with us, singing beautifully.

The next morning, all these new pins made the men very conspicuous. This awakened [Ψ?}’s suspicions, and thinking we had taken nearly all the new Frats, commenced to pledge men for their ticket. That evening we had a meeting (secretive), and E. M. Williams received 17 votes. I received 16. I didn’t vote for myself and E. M. was in the chair. Dan and Pierson. 10 or 12. The 3rd Highest candidate was E.M. Williams, Sterling and Holden. The way E.M. received so many votes was because his chums had electioneered for him among the Society men beforehand. I was very much surprised to see that Dan did not get many votes.

Well during the next day, we found we could not pledge enough men for E.M. so he resigned. This left Stephen Pierson and myself as candidates in the field. I did not work for myself in the least, and saw but 3 men, and pledged them for Stephen. I had telegraphed to him twice to see if his health would allow him to serve on the Committee. He did not receive the telegram but stopped here on his way home from a visit in New York State. He said, at first, he could not possibly accept, for he thought of going into the Navy; but at last, I persuaded him to serve.

Well, on Saturday, the Class Meeting was called. Tom Hewitt took the Chair; Merriam stated the objects of the meeting; Lyman made a splendid speech. The vote was taken. Parke polled 106, Borden 105, Ives 105, Atterbury 104, Sterling 63, Stephen, Purvis White and Billy Pratt and Pearson, each, 59. So a new election was called on Monday. Lyman made a speech to show that Goodrich voted illegally, being not a member of College. But the other side, having proved that his vote was made use of against his wish, the legalities were cancelled, and the voting was commenced.

Although the [Ψ?} men thought that we were almost sure of the election. But as the results proved we were beaten by 3 votes. Pratt 56, Pearson 53,. I really think that Billy will make the best man.

November 27th – This morning, I arrived at home at 7:30, in time for breakfast. I took all of the family quite unexpectedly. I was up till 2 a.m. working the Thanksgiving Jubilee. It was a very splendid affair. I found Isia Gould at home; she had arrived the morning previous.

November 28th – I enjoyed myself amazingly at home. It seems so nice and cozy to see such a nice little fellow as Henry living with us.

November 29th – Tonight, I came home with Miss Isia. I expected to find Mrs. Roberts in the depot, but fortunately, I had the pleasure of attending her home. I’ve had a splendid visit home. They all seemed glad to see me, and I assure you, I was glad to see them. I lay out a path for [the] garden and did a few such things. Uncle Henry is fixing up his place himself. Bumps has not, as yet, commenced the store; the underpinning is all laid. Tucker’s store is nearly completed. I went around to see Mr. Sedgwick this afternoon, and had an interesting talk with him. It rains pitchforks tonight.

I will add a list of Mock Junior Appointments, which were out the day before Thanksgiving. Winnie Mitchell took tea with us tonight. Uncle David was taken with another of his sick turns a few weeks since. and has just been moved down to Aunt Kate’s. I didn’t see Sarah Thanksgiving day. She and Robert went to Birmingham to dinner. Mr. Fred Benjamin’s house is being put up rapidly; it is going to be very stylish looking. They say that he has changed his initials from F.M. to F.G., which means or stands for “Future Governor”.

I had a letter from Amie Clark yesterday. We have at home a splendid dog, Shepherd’s dog, full blooded. They have called his name “Jack” after me.

Mock Junior Appointments

Philisopical

A.M. Ketell Principle of Endless Screw

Page Foulest page of History

Bellamy A fool neither looks nor walks nor stands like a man of sense.

Thomas Genius buried in obscurity

Watson Go wash youself sometimes in [word]

Orations

Borden Look out for No. 1

High

Bradly Chastity

Buck Life in Gregson Alley

Holden Our pet

Hudson The evils of splurging

Lyman Veni, Vidi, Vinci

Wells Can negros be taken for White men?

E.M. Williams Feed my lambs

J Benjamine Plush plucked

Cortelyou Dr. Prater’s ambition

Lowery Off handedness

Owen New England Aristocracy

Peck Generosity

Parke Hogs

Firtch Corporation of North College

Ingersoll Giglamp on Horses

Kow Beware of the dog

Barnette Ist memoirs

Benjamin 2nd memoirs

Morton 3rd memoirs

Nadal The vision of a Bull in Calf.

MB Pratt Great littlness and little greatness.

Purvis Striking resemblances

Stevens On blowing big guns

Teale Duplicity

Orators

F Wilson Thell’s walking advertisement

Dissentating

Booth Conscious piety

Burnett Last but not least

Clark Sentimental singing

Crane Our Junior Society Elections

Darling Our Campaign President

Jessup Life of Judas President

Lewis Contempt of Poor Relations

Loomis Ass – but not however

Whiten Small potatoes

M.N. Williams ”Cast not your pearls before swine.”

Bryden Worcester sauce

J T. Williams Essence of “ “

Disputes

Atterbury Should young men cut their apron strings too early.

Phimicy Is a thing of beauty a joy forever?

H Pratt Shall we ride, O Callicles?

Van Alst Dutch courage

Van Etten “ “

Van Gelden “ “

First

Bettes Effeminate voice in men.

Chanddler Class patriotism

Gibson Gemini: United we came, divided we stand

Gibson “ “ “ “ “

Hoyt Pious Calummates

McLean “The devil on two sticks.”

Merriam The great “I AM”

Paine Harmony in sacred music

Colloquies

Palmer Root hog or die

Second

Rockwood Self-abasement

Colloquies

Taft Extravagance

Walker Second hand furniture for sale cheap

Browning Round(h) 2 lay – a ham fat man

Conkling Prairie Flower

Poems

A.B. Cox The elephant now goes round.

H.R. Wood Babes in the wood

O.S. Wood “ “ “

Tillinghast “Lost to sight to memory dear”

Lassman Birds of a feather flock together

Coit “ “ “ “

Fletcher “ “ “ “

Well, here are all of the appointments. They were printed in ink type for the first time. I do not believe in doing so